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Well, much to the chagrin of myself and others, the maliciously dark abyss has decided to spit me back out onto the sands of the sweet-smelling clime that is Dana Point.
I don't get to spend more than 20 minutes per 2 hours off my back ( use of the WC not being an exception ), so I thought I would send a love letter to each of you who gave a shit enough about me to respond to my last journal ( and even those who didn't respond but thought about me anyway ).
My word is my bond; and even though I have a horrible amount of physical therapy ahead of me, I WILL FIGHT
It will take a while, and my "art" might look like crap, but I will fight. I know many of you have been through as bad or even worse than me and have come back, so I can do it too.
I Love you all so very much!!!!!
I don't get to spend more than 20 minutes per 2 hours off my back ( use of the WC not being an exception ), so I thought I would send a love letter to each of you who gave a shit enough about me to respond to my last journal ( and even those who didn't respond but thought about me anyway ).
My word is my bond; and even though I have a horrible amount of physical therapy ahead of me, I WILL FIGHT
It will take a while, and my "art" might look like crap, but I will fight. I know many of you have been through as bad or even worse than me and have come back, so I can do it too.
I Love you all so very much!!!!!
Devious Journal Entry
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche
Thanks, Friedrich. I really believe that maxim.
And go figure, it killed me.
Dead. :dead:
Constant pain, prescription drug addiction and all of the hell one must go through to manage it. In the face of all of these factors, I thought it might strengthen me through the roof.
Nope.
That brings me to the ultimate condition, death. It sounded great in the brochure, but it was the details that destroyed me.
Unless......you are just dying to 'live on' as a freeze-dried stinky cat mummy. You heard me, a freakin' CAT!!! Would it have killed the big guy upstairs to sta
I Love You
Love is such a simple thing, it doesn't cost anything, it can't be measured or sometimes even trusted. And it seems to be the only thing I can offer all of the unforgettable people I have loved here at DA. I have not been here for many reasons, the main reason is that I don't feel like I should waste anyone's time unless I can post art. I don't know why I feel this way, I just know that I always have. I have found and have been given so many wondrous friendships here. Deviant Art has given me the precious gift of meaning and purpose, and when I am not here I fall into the deepest, most abysmal hole imaginable.
I have been miserably sick l
an UPdate about DOWNthings
A brief update in regards to my 'return' and overall condition:
I am generally tired of 'waiting until I feel better' to return to 'art' and my favorite community in all the world.
Tired of hiding in the 'video game cave' of instant gratification and stymied creativity. Tired of waiting for the Medical Cavalry that may never arrive.
For those with an insatiable hunger for morbidity ( and those who are genuinely interested ), I proffer the following:
My degenerative disc disease continues in spite of surgery ( a $110,000 'gift' from my insurance company ) and ever increasing doses of "Hospital Heroin" (hydromorphone), Methadone, Oxycodone,
Erm......Ouch
I truly hope this doesn't sound tooo whiny, just felt an explanation was owed as to why I'm not "putting out" like I have in the past....
I have 2 compressed, ruptured discs in my spine which have been progressively inflicting pain upon me over the last two years. What started out as nasty sciatica has progressed to pain that makes it virtually impossible to stand or walk for more than 5 minutes. *Sleeping is still ok - but pretty depressing when done in large stretches...
The treatment my doctor has involved me in has included spinal injections and progressively stronger narcotics. I pray (and may beg for, if needed) surgery in the cur
© 2011 - 2024 skulpturro
Comments23
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I don't know why I didn't see this journal entry until now. But hang in there, David! You are my favorite artist here on deviantART. I will be praying for you to feel better.